Alright. Examples...
See that first post down there? It has a comment attached to it from another of my voices, logged in from the outside as a test to make sure this page worked (somewhat). That... is Patrick. Patrick is an adrenaline junkie. He's British, young, athletic, strong (maybe too strong), mysogynistic, dark, brooding, dangerous... Yet, lift the veil enough to let light cast the tiniest of shadows over that mask and he's fiercely loyal, loving, protective, understanding, humorous, gentle and even a little bit fragile. How he was created is the thing... he was adopted first, then built.
A friend of mine, the one who introduced me to the game site where mutants like Drake, Cass, Pieter and about 30 other of my mutant/evolved character voices now live, came to me with an idea last summer based on a character she'd made for another game that had shut down. She thought it would be interesting to take that character, give him two brothers, make them triplets, each with an element of control (mental powers... think Mentok or something) and set them loose on the teens of the unsuspecting campus where this game takes place. She gave me Patrick, originally a renaissance-type ladies' man kinda guy who had some seriously f*-ed up relationships... big problems with the female population. She had an idea for herself for the brother that she coveted as her own due to the power she'd thought up. This is all fine and well. Okay, so I adopted Pat and she went further to describe what each of the brothers could do. The character started to shape in my head as something other than just a ladies' man with issues. He started to form -as- the problem in his relationships, what with the controlling ability, a slightly rebellious nature, the egotistical-bordering-meglomaniacal attititude.. he boiled and frothed right on up over the top and said 'create me'! And Patrick, "Tripp", was born.
Now, at first, I didn't think much of it, until she came to me with a picture of who she wanted to cast as the faces of the triplets. I had only a vague idea at the time he formed of what he would look like, sound like, act like... then I saw the picture and he was signed, sealed and delivered to my laptop moments later, oozing out my fingertips to say hello to the world. That knack of finding someone on the street to fit the character in my head had already started to show when I found a face to fit each of Drake, Cass, Pieter, and my irishman, Galen. One look at this picture and I was starting to get that tingle in my spine that warns of things unseen and lurking around corners waiting to be discovered... excitement, fear, wonder... Yes!
Take one look at FLAUNT magazine, and you'll know that their photo shoots are not the average oatmeal and white-toast variety. They give their subjects some fairly interesting things to play with. Although I haven't read the magazine, I've seen several series of their photos, from which this picture was peeled. This subject had been painted in a series of marker drawings to resemble tattooes and henna paint with bones, flames, stenciled letters spelling out his name, chains and other bits that made him suddenly more dark and brooding in my mind and placed him in the realm of actual people I hold close in my real life circles. He was masked in a face of the underground, a shadowrunner of the deviant kind, and not someone anyone would want to meet in a dark alley alone. This became clear through game play later on when two other characters found out the hard way.
Although the picture itself was not of him smiling, the visage came to life in my head with an oily, dark smirk and a look in his eye of embers about to ignite at any moment. Smoke became a big part of him, actually. If you can visualize demons and skeletons rising from the bodies of the dead on a smoke- and steam-covered field after the bloodiest of battles, then you can sense this look in his eyes, although figurative, and feel the cold danger and despair that come with it. This... is Tripp. "Tripp" is the persona that Pat dons when he's out to make a score or when he's seeking his 'high' in one fashion or another. To date, there have only been... *counts*... five.. well, four-and-a-half, we'll say... women strong enough or worthy enough to earn his friendship in place of a seat on the meat wagon. He has tendency to break his toys, but as a character, he's only played out a killing twice.. once in self defense, the other for revenge of killing the woman who is now his wife. Okay, so the story is a little complicated. His girl of five years was killed... he sought revenge... she was dead, but suspended in a way I can't be arsed to explain here, brought back in ways that only games and comic books can manage... and now they're married. Yes, she's one of the five... er... four... nevermind.. you get it.
So what does this have to do with the relative state of the universe and the examples I was going to mention? It comes to the next step, having cast a face, created a history, built a perfect dark demon of a man and decided on his habits and quirks. Keeping in mind that he's a ladies man (in unexpected ways) and that he's an adrenaline junkie, along with having had him suffer a couple of particularly damaging injuries during gameplay, I received a shock several months later when reading that the actor whose likeness was chosen came into acting admittedly for the women, that he himself is an adrenaline junkie and extreme sportsman, has had a broken back, but managed to rise up to walk again, and become quite the noteable face on screen these days. Those who know who I speak of earn a prize of being allowed to continue to read here with a particular face in mind, however I'm not putting the name here as this is not a part he's aware he's being used for and not likely one he'd agree to play. If, however, I do complete the script with this character, it will be submitted with him in mind. I'll keep my fingers crossed, but won't hold my breath. Blue really isn't my color...
Friday, August 20, 2004
Art of paranoia.. part 1
Okay, so characters aside a moment... I'm taking the keys myself to just ramble a little. This is D... or D-mun to most who know me on MSN in one group or twelve.
First, I'm a freak, okay? I admit it. I'm here more often than not at the keys and trying to be anyone but myself, but lately, I'm not sure that's wise. Being a writer in some fashion, I suppose that gives me license to have some level of schizophrenia. I do what the voices in my head say... well, at least I write down what they say. They're all separate and distinct, down to the colors and fonts that tend to match how they sound in my head. Cass, for instance, on another board than this, is bright purple Times, her brother is dark Times... um.. no pun intentionally placed, no matter how fitting that may be. That's neither here, nor there. The important thing is that I acknowledge their existence and allow their freedom to play as they appear at the forefront, posting up what they want to divulge about their thoughts and feelings.
I'm just the bystander. It's odd to go back and read something you know damn well you wrote yourself, but have that disconnected feeling that you're reading someone else's work. It's when your emotional 'forest for the trees' attachment to the text fades and you're left only with the context and essentially 'reading' it for the first time, experiencing the world as an outsider to your brain, trying to figure it all out like everyone would be who picked it up off the shelf. Is that a good feeling or bad one? Undetermined... it's a disconnect whatever it is and it's kinda creepy.
That having been said, lately I've been seeing my characters doing an equally creepy thing of showing up in the guise of real people around me. While I'm sure it's perfectly normal to draw off experiences and people around oneself to create worlds and the beloved characters within them, I'm not certain it's normal to create a character then come across their likeness on the street as a stranger. It's an odd phenomenon I've discovered and it's become rampant the more I create. Part of the paranoid little sidestep seems to come from the 'casting' process in my head. Not only does each character look a certain way in text, there is also a face, voice, mannerism and style particular to each character as I see him or her based on favored 'famous' faces. It's not uncommon to 'cast' someone familiar when writing and it's often encouraged in order to breathe more life into dialogue and actions, not to mention helping to keep the character consistent and believable. Again, that having been said, wouldn't you find it odd to create a character and give it a 'body' to use, only to find that the one chosen is actually quite similar to that character in ways you didn't expect?
Sure, now you want an example. Okay... next post... because this is going to get complicated and I've run out of time at the moment to explain...
First, I'm a freak, okay? I admit it. I'm here more often than not at the keys and trying to be anyone but myself, but lately, I'm not sure that's wise. Being a writer in some fashion, I suppose that gives me license to have some level of schizophrenia. I do what the voices in my head say... well, at least I write down what they say. They're all separate and distinct, down to the colors and fonts that tend to match how they sound in my head. Cass, for instance, on another board than this, is bright purple Times, her brother is dark Times... um.. no pun intentionally placed, no matter how fitting that may be. That's neither here, nor there. The important thing is that I acknowledge their existence and allow their freedom to play as they appear at the forefront, posting up what they want to divulge about their thoughts and feelings.
I'm just the bystander. It's odd to go back and read something you know damn well you wrote yourself, but have that disconnected feeling that you're reading someone else's work. It's when your emotional 'forest for the trees' attachment to the text fades and you're left only with the context and essentially 'reading' it for the first time, experiencing the world as an outsider to your brain, trying to figure it all out like everyone would be who picked it up off the shelf. Is that a good feeling or bad one? Undetermined... it's a disconnect whatever it is and it's kinda creepy.
That having been said, lately I've been seeing my characters doing an equally creepy thing of showing up in the guise of real people around me. While I'm sure it's perfectly normal to draw off experiences and people around oneself to create worlds and the beloved characters within them, I'm not certain it's normal to create a character then come across their likeness on the street as a stranger. It's an odd phenomenon I've discovered and it's become rampant the more I create. Part of the paranoid little sidestep seems to come from the 'casting' process in my head. Not only does each character look a certain way in text, there is also a face, voice, mannerism and style particular to each character as I see him or her based on favored 'famous' faces. It's not uncommon to 'cast' someone familiar when writing and it's often encouraged in order to breathe more life into dialogue and actions, not to mention helping to keep the character consistent and believable. Again, that having been said, wouldn't you find it odd to create a character and give it a 'body' to use, only to find that the one chosen is actually quite similar to that character in ways you didn't expect?
Sure, now you want an example. Okay... next post... because this is going to get complicated and I've run out of time at the moment to explain...
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
Black Tuesday
Hi, Duckie
*waves*
This is Cass, Drake's little sister, hijacking the keys for a few minutes... he's busy getting ready for work (ewww). He's kinda telling me what to type, but I usually don't listen very well... you know... he's my brother, hello?... like what does he know... sheesh.
So I've noticed something funny about Drake. I don't even think he does it on purpose, but... every Tuesday? Black... black everything. I bet his cup at work is even black, but I wouldn't know... never been there to see it. Picks up his bag... black... CD case... yup, black. Only thing not black is the ... whatever that is... in the box from the freezer for lunch. Big whoop... it's a box... might as well be black.
His girlfriend, Mari? She's a dancer... like really pretty, blonde and everything, super hyper and happy a lot... sad a lot, too cuz she misses her family, but she's not the all-black type. I don't know how or why she puts up with that. I mean, he looks nice in it and all... he even dyed his hair once. It looked really nice, but it wasn't him. He's like me... mousy brown. He's kinda cute... for a brother... but he's got a nice smile that wins him dates a lot. Well it did... not saying, but I bet he asks her to marry him soon. He's all in the l-o-v-e... it's really funny to watch.
*looks up at bangs and sighs*... I hate my hair. I'd shave it off but Dad would kill me. He might anyway. You know that school thing D mentioned in that last post? I go there, too. See, he didn't mention... we both have this thing... not like Pete, or Gerald... or whatever Elias has... Elias.. he's the cadet and Gerald's the horse guy... man he's cute. Anyway... D and me, we have this knack with water. Can make it do all kinds of stuff. He can anyway, but I'm just kind of a klutz with it still. It's all mom's fault... 'Swan"... "Drake"... and me... my middle name is "Tempest"... yeah... like moody and break things? Yup. I don't do it on purpose, it just happens. Duckie's trying to help me, though and I've learned a lot in the last year.
Oh yeah, Dad. I forgot. See, Dad's this big not-hip-on-mutants kinda guy. Mom and uncle Jason? They're coming out here to live cuz Dad's being a really big ass... can I say that? Oo.. Duckie will get mad, but I don't care.. that's what he is. He kicked Ducks out when he was 13... 13!!! Made him go to boarding school clear across the country so he wouldn't embarrass the family with the water-power-gift thing. Told him he couldn't come home... like ever... unless it went away. Well, it didn't go away and things got worse, cuz I got it too and he tried to do the same thing to me, but he was going to send me to France. France! Like Europe! That would have been cool, but I don't wanna be that far away from mom or Ducks. I wrote Drake a lot of letters and cried a lot, too. He and his friend Tyler? They came out to get me, can you believe it? They came all the way out and brought me back to go to school with them. Tyler's like a big brother to us. He's really funny.. and he's cute too. And strong. He doesn't look it... kinda like a big teddy bear, you know? He just a lot of fun and he and Drake are like two of a kind. That freaks me out, but I still think it's cool.
But Dad? So not cool. And mom said he's running for Congress and wants to stop mutants and 'fix them'... but there's nothing to fix. We are what we are, like Duckie says. It's like all those scary movies about the Old South or the Inquisition, he says. One more minority to be treated badly in the anals of history... he can sound really smart when he wants to, by the way. He's an actor and stuff. He plays piano really, really well and writes music.. he even wrote a musical last year and got it published already. Well, Uncle Jason helped, but he didn't need to do a lot cuz it was good. It's funny, too. Dad doesn't get it though. He grumps around the house about Drake not being practical and learning a proper education or whatever, but Duckie's really good at what he does. I bet he makes more money that Dad does someday.
Ooh, I better stop, cuz Duckie's gonna read this and get all freaked out on me. He's super self-conscious and gets really moody sometimes about weird stuff. He's also really hyper and goes like days without sleeping sometimes. That scares me cuz he thinks up all kinds of stuff when he does that. He writes stories, too. He told me he used to write stories in Latin class... in Latin... did I tell you he can be really smart? He acts like such a big goof ball all the time though.
Okay, that's enough from me cuz he's coming back to get his shoes and take me to class. God, I hate school, but at least I'm learning neat stuff cuz of the water thing and there's all these other mutants... Oh!... and Tim! My friend Tim came out to go to school here, too. He's super smart.. smarter than Duckie even and he's only 15. He gets to take a year off to go wherever he wants or start college early. He came out here to be near me and Drake cuz our families are friends and stuff. He's got a thing too, and the goober never told me! He talks to ghosts and stuff.. how cool is that?! His birthday is even on Halloween. It's funny too, cuz we're all from like 'witch' country... well Cambridge, but still. It's Massachusetts and all, so that counts, right? Okay, well really gotta go cuz he's starting to read over my shoulder now and I can't type when he does that.
*mwuah*... kisses and hugs...
~Cassie
*waves*
This is Cass, Drake's little sister, hijacking the keys for a few minutes... he's busy getting ready for work (ewww). He's kinda telling me what to type, but I usually don't listen very well... you know... he's my brother, hello?... like what does he know... sheesh.
So I've noticed something funny about Drake. I don't even think he does it on purpose, but... every Tuesday? Black... black everything. I bet his cup at work is even black, but I wouldn't know... never been there to see it. Picks up his bag... black... CD case... yup, black. Only thing not black is the ... whatever that is... in the box from the freezer for lunch. Big whoop... it's a box... might as well be black.
His girlfriend, Mari? She's a dancer... like really pretty, blonde and everything, super hyper and happy a lot... sad a lot, too cuz she misses her family, but she's not the all-black type. I don't know how or why she puts up with that. I mean, he looks nice in it and all... he even dyed his hair once. It looked really nice, but it wasn't him. He's like me... mousy brown. He's kinda cute... for a brother... but he's got a nice smile that wins him dates a lot. Well it did... not saying, but I bet he asks her to marry him soon. He's all in the l-o-v-e... it's really funny to watch.
*looks up at bangs and sighs*... I hate my hair. I'd shave it off but Dad would kill me. He might anyway. You know that school thing D mentioned in that last post? I go there, too. See, he didn't mention... we both have this thing... not like Pete, or Gerald... or whatever Elias has... Elias.. he's the cadet and Gerald's the horse guy... man he's cute. Anyway... D and me, we have this knack with water. Can make it do all kinds of stuff. He can anyway, but I'm just kind of a klutz with it still. It's all mom's fault... 'Swan"... "Drake"... and me... my middle name is "Tempest"... yeah... like moody and break things? Yup. I don't do it on purpose, it just happens. Duckie's trying to help me, though and I've learned a lot in the last year.
Oh yeah, Dad. I forgot. See, Dad's this big not-hip-on-mutants kinda guy. Mom and uncle Jason? They're coming out here to live cuz Dad's being a really big ass... can I say that? Oo.. Duckie will get mad, but I don't care.. that's what he is. He kicked Ducks out when he was 13... 13!!! Made him go to boarding school clear across the country so he wouldn't embarrass the family with the water-power-gift thing. Told him he couldn't come home... like ever... unless it went away. Well, it didn't go away and things got worse, cuz I got it too and he tried to do the same thing to me, but he was going to send me to France. France! Like Europe! That would have been cool, but I don't wanna be that far away from mom or Ducks. I wrote Drake a lot of letters and cried a lot, too. He and his friend Tyler? They came out to get me, can you believe it? They came all the way out and brought me back to go to school with them. Tyler's like a big brother to us. He's really funny.. and he's cute too. And strong. He doesn't look it... kinda like a big teddy bear, you know? He just a lot of fun and he and Drake are like two of a kind. That freaks me out, but I still think it's cool.
But Dad? So not cool. And mom said he's running for Congress and wants to stop mutants and 'fix them'... but there's nothing to fix. We are what we are, like Duckie says. It's like all those scary movies about the Old South or the Inquisition, he says. One more minority to be treated badly in the anals of history... he can sound really smart when he wants to, by the way. He's an actor and stuff. He plays piano really, really well and writes music.. he even wrote a musical last year and got it published already. Well, Uncle Jason helped, but he didn't need to do a lot cuz it was good. It's funny, too. Dad doesn't get it though. He grumps around the house about Drake not being practical and learning a proper education or whatever, but Duckie's really good at what he does. I bet he makes more money that Dad does someday.
Ooh, I better stop, cuz Duckie's gonna read this and get all freaked out on me. He's super self-conscious and gets really moody sometimes about weird stuff. He's also really hyper and goes like days without sleeping sometimes. That scares me cuz he thinks up all kinds of stuff when he does that. He writes stories, too. He told me he used to write stories in Latin class... in Latin... did I tell you he can be really smart? He acts like such a big goof ball all the time though.
Okay, that's enough from me cuz he's coming back to get his shoes and take me to class. God, I hate school, but at least I'm learning neat stuff cuz of the water thing and there's all these other mutants... Oh!... and Tim! My friend Tim came out to go to school here, too. He's super smart.. smarter than Duckie even and he's only 15. He gets to take a year off to go wherever he wants or start college early. He came out here to be near me and Drake cuz our families are friends and stuff. He's got a thing too, and the goober never told me! He talks to ghosts and stuff.. how cool is that?! His birthday is even on Halloween. It's funny too, cuz we're all from like 'witch' country... well Cambridge, but still. It's Massachusetts and all, so that counts, right? Okay, well really gotta go cuz he's starting to read over my shoulder now and I can't type when he does that.
*mwuah*... kisses and hugs...
~Cassie
Sunday, August 15, 2004
still waiting
Alright... it's been a little over an hour *checks watch and taps foot in agitation*
You know, the narrative voice in my head would be great if it weren't so FICKLE... you hear that? *yells at brain* How effective is that... yelling in one's own brain to make it listen and behave? It doesn't work... well most of the time. Something's here trying to talk and maybe I'll let it... maybe..
Grand... what do you mean mice? MICE! There're mice running around in my head now... calling themselves Pickles and Cheese. They've been there a while really, but they're really up there now and wanting to play. Apparently they're bemoaning the demise of the Pinky and the Brain shows... woe is me to have stupid fragging mice in my noggin.
((again with the backspace key as I backup and fill in the words and letters that seem to randomly drop with frequency and precision, not that you'd notice since I've gone back to fill them in already. I have a theory that we could feasibly drop every third word when we type these things out.. they'd still make as much sense and would still be readily ignored along with the 72 bazillion other blogs out there of all the people we don't know.... but I digress... as I often do...))
So, mice it is, huh? Did you know mice gallop? They're pretty fraggin' loud when they want to be, man. I thought they were just annoying, chewing away at the support beams, but we're talking like.. I dunno.. headbanger mice here... doing their best Axl at the moment. Grand... no wonder I have a headache.
Over on the other window, I have a beautiful RP going of two handsomely naughty school boys boffing each other and trying not to get caught. The other writer had a rotten day at work so... this is how we relax... 'and the personas of the day are?...' Well, it's not Drake, so he dun care. Drake's got Mari and that's a whole n'other blog for another time (and again with the backspace as I find all sorts of typos... whee... like I really care.)
Anyway, no it's not Drake, but one of his school buddies, Pete. Welcome to mutant central where everyone's got a power or ability or something... well Pete's my snake boy. Right now, while snake boy's lovely pet has graduated and has joined the nine-to-five world (um.. Pete's 17 and still in school.. his naughty boy toy is flirting with arrest, being over 21... but works for the PD now... go figure... and yes these are FICTION.. thank you... read the side bar... all of these voices are fictional characters)... he's entertaining a real stud.... as in an equine feral... the boy he's tugging turns into a horse, okay? You with me now? Snake.. horse... bi.. both of them... happy... hoooo boy, are they ever... and no one's told the cadet yet. That should be interesting.
Meanwhile, same said snake boy is entertaining, at another point in time, a favored friend of his and the cadet, taking her for a swim. She's a fish girl... who bears a striking resemblance to Buffy... which I find really amusing since that chic is about as cold to me as the sightless bass in the case at the market... fish.. cold... blah... nothing there, but my character likes her, so go fig.... again. I just write what they tell me... it's not my feelings and emotions and vices and crank turners.. it's theirs.... I'll get into what the real me likes at another time..
when that damned voice comes back... *sigh*...
You know, the narrative voice in my head would be great if it weren't so FICKLE... you hear that? *yells at brain* How effective is that... yelling in one's own brain to make it listen and behave? It doesn't work... well most of the time. Something's here trying to talk and maybe I'll let it... maybe..
Grand... what do you mean mice? MICE! There're mice running around in my head now... calling themselves Pickles and Cheese. They've been there a while really, but they're really up there now and wanting to play. Apparently they're bemoaning the demise of the Pinky and the Brain shows... woe is me to have stupid fragging mice in my noggin.
((again with the backspace key as I backup and fill in the words and letters that seem to randomly drop with frequency and precision, not that you'd notice since I've gone back to fill them in already. I have a theory that we could feasibly drop every third word when we type these things out.. they'd still make as much sense and would still be readily ignored along with the 72 bazillion other blogs out there of all the people we don't know.... but I digress... as I often do...))
So, mice it is, huh? Did you know mice gallop? They're pretty fraggin' loud when they want to be, man. I thought they were just annoying, chewing away at the support beams, but we're talking like.. I dunno.. headbanger mice here... doing their best Axl at the moment. Grand... no wonder I have a headache.
Over on the other window, I have a beautiful RP going of two handsomely naughty school boys boffing each other and trying not to get caught. The other writer had a rotten day at work so... this is how we relax... 'and the personas of the day are?...' Well, it's not Drake, so he dun care. Drake's got Mari and that's a whole n'other blog for another time (and again with the backspace as I find all sorts of typos... whee... like I really care.)
Anyway, no it's not Drake, but one of his school buddies, Pete. Welcome to mutant central where everyone's got a power or ability or something... well Pete's my snake boy. Right now, while snake boy's lovely pet has graduated and has joined the nine-to-five world (um.. Pete's 17 and still in school.. his naughty boy toy is flirting with arrest, being over 21... but works for the PD now... go figure... and yes these are FICTION.. thank you... read the side bar... all of these voices are fictional characters)... he's entertaining a real stud.... as in an equine feral... the boy he's tugging turns into a horse, okay? You with me now? Snake.. horse... bi.. both of them... happy... hoooo boy, are they ever... and no one's told the cadet yet. That should be interesting.
Meanwhile, same said snake boy is entertaining, at another point in time, a favored friend of his and the cadet, taking her for a swim. She's a fish girl... who bears a striking resemblance to Buffy... which I find really amusing since that chic is about as cold to me as the sightless bass in the case at the market... fish.. cold... blah... nothing there, but my character likes her, so go fig.... again. I just write what they tell me... it's not my feelings and emotions and vices and crank turners.. it's theirs.... I'll get into what the real me likes at another time..
when that damned voice comes back... *sigh*...
New thoughts, new creations...
I couldn't stand it anymore. I'm sitting here listening to it and trying to block it out... better to blog it out instead... damned narrative voice.... AAAAGH!!!!
Okay, so I'm here at the keys and where's it gone? Fishing.. skating... scuba diving.. whatever, but it's not here talking to me now that I've taken the time to open the window and set it/him/her/them.. in motion... go figure...
Anyway... place marker's here and I'm at the ready whenever it is... hopefully it comes back soon....
*grumbles*
Okay, so I'm here at the keys and where's it gone? Fishing.. skating... scuba diving.. whatever, but it's not here talking to me now that I've taken the time to open the window and set it/him/her/them.. in motion... go figure...
Anyway... place marker's here and I'm at the ready whenever it is... hopefully it comes back soon....
*grumbles*
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